pretty picture;

ఫిరెఫ్లిఎసి

2009-11-23T21:07:00.003-07:00

so i pretty much love this,
just saying ...
id be fine if it stayed like this forever
but i would like it if you texted me first once in a while hokay?

:)

future

2009-10-20T20:13:00.002-06:00

i want him to say "baby girl ill take care of you",

i want him to embrace me in his lanky arms,

i want him to be mine...
for a long long time <3

2009-09-24T20:52:00.002-06:00

pictures framing up the past
your taunting smirk behind the glass
this museum full of ash
once a tickle, now a rash

freud

2009-09-20T17:39:00.003-06:00

i was thinking about jamaica mon and after our evening at wyndham provincial park i got thinking how i want this to go down...

i dont want a boyfriend when my wall gets back, and i dont want one for my 18th
i want a date for grad but not a bf and my friends have to like him.

after reading my past posts a realized that all the boys i have liked or thought about since january do not meet any of my necessary qualifications or ended up not in my life anymore.

i enjoyed reading my january post again....made me realize what i really want (to be free)

:)

i love life, the single life
i shall continue to live my relationships through vampire movies and tv shows

well...

2009-08-16T21:34:00.002-06:00

she said that if i dont receive a text by tuesday i should text him...

but i dunno

i keep thinking about "he's just not that into you", and how if he wants to make it work, he'll make it work...

but then again i dunno

im not good at this boy thing

well...

2009-08-04T20:48:00.003-06:00

first it was friday...

got changed to saturday...

which then got changed to sunday...

which did happen, however another slight issue...

which one??

monday monday

2009-07-27T19:43:00.006-06:00

friday could not come soon enough,
i want you to be here...SOON
i want you to add me on fcbk and ask for my # PLEASE

i dont want this to not turn out...

you can be my paulo, my mbf, my gerard HOKAY?

even though you dont agree with me on soft drinks...

HURRY FRIDAY HURRY

happy new years

2009-07-26T21:13:00.003-06:00

this is a feeling that has been dormant for almost a year
..im pretty stoked

2009-06-17T14:09:00.001-06:00

I still squint my eyes hoping to see someone at the end of the road.

just leave

2009-04-20T22:05:00.002-06:00

you bruised me;

you wounded me;

this left all the scars;

which turned to scabs,

they keep getting picked

...they wont heal, and go away

nor will you

i dont know what else i have to do

unfortuneatly the next step will have to be durastic.

but how far is too far?

guess we will find out...

sigh

2009-03-30T18:25:00.003-06:00

i dont even know what to think.
we call this life?
why are our lives run by the moving
hands of a man?
why did god create sunsets?
sunrises?
why do we go from being cold and isolated
to sweaty and social?
why do i have to know how to calculate molar
mass of an unknown substance?
why do i have to know about Bill 101? and how people felt about
what our official language should be?
why do i have to kno that there isnt a fossil for every species
that walked the earth before me?
why do we suffer?
why is such a thing made?
why do guys prefer girls that have been 'passed' around, one too
many times?
why does chocolate make me feel better?
as do sappy movies?
how come the moon affects all we do?
our menstrual cycles, mood, and amount of
time awake?

i just dont understand
and i dont know what to think

vavavoom

2009-03-19T21:35:00.002-06:00

you is hawt.

you may keep in touch.

the end

boiz will be boiz will be boiz will be boiz will be boiz

2009-02-12T21:29:00.003-07:00

1. I don't know what to do with you. I like you but I'm not allowed to like you in that way, that would be suicide. But I do think that we should become really really really really good friends, cause I want you to be the brother I never had.

2. You are pretty chill, have bad breath but chill. I like how I'm not texting you first all the time. I think that you ar emore of a cousin then a brother, but I wouldn't mind us being really good friends either. My own personal wall.

3. You pissed me off. I still think about you alot, which also pisses me off. I think that (unfortuneatly) if you did by some random reason wanna speak to me again I would talk back. I really shouldn't cause then all these hopes of us dating would come back, and I can't date someone whose nickname is 'douche', 'faggot' or 'pussy'.

4. I thought that we may have had something till you blew me off and called me dumb. If you apologized and started talking to me again, lost your man whoreish ways then maybe just maybe you would get another chance.

5. I really really liked you on first impression, but your taken..boo.

6. I wanna get to know you, I don't know if we would have something, but I think you're cute...and that wouldn't look so bad next to me.

ho hum

2009-02-03T16:19:00.001-07:00

a little stressed,
but it think its a good stress.

its about the right things,
its about time i buckled down,
got serious,
and worked hard.

the time has come.
lets do things right this time around

in a nut shell...a peanut shell

2009-01-09T22:35:00.002-07:00

so basically...
I have been thinking about you a lot,
and before i go on don't get me wrong i am
content with my life as is but...
im just wondering if possibly,
you are thinking about me too

i just hope that i meet you some day soon,
and i hope it's beautiful

the end :)

UH!!!!

2008-12-12T23:07:00.003-07:00

a year,

thats how long i have

been thinking about you

not always 24/7, but A LOT

im tired of this but i dont kno how

to move on

im your puppet, i like being the master

puppeteer

..not the puppet

GET OUTTA MY HEAD CD!

OUTTA MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-22T09:27:00.002-07:00

livid, pissed, upset, annoyed, irritable, vexed
i never knew you could make me feel like this
i never knew this is what would happen
but i should have seen the signs
the o so obvious signs of secrets, ditching, and posing.
not to mention the devilish act of selfishness and fake pride.
it pisses me off how its ok for you but not for anyone else
it pisses me off that i let it go this far
you piss me off
its as simple as that
so bugger off i dont care
im done

2008-11-13T16:45:00.002-07:00

"Women are made to be loved, not understood."

"Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat."

"There's nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It's a thing no married man knows anything about."

2008-11-06T21:26:00.002-07:00

I, I know what you did

Like a boy of summer gives his first kiss

Love, is dancing on my finger

He got to the heart of the matter and lingered

Now I'm walking with the living

I always liked Steinbeck and those old men whistling

We're back, we're back in San Francisco

We're back and you tell me I'm home

Talking in the Mission

Over coffee this is my utopia

Man, I'll be your lady

As the ocean rises, the sun is fading

And now I feel the ever after

Over red wine on the eve of summer

The buzz, the buzz of the city

As we settle in it's majesty

I, I know what you did

Like a boy of summer gives his first kiss

unveiling**

2008-11-02T10:33:00.001-07:00

Nevermind what haters say, ignore them ’til they fade away.
Amazing they ungreat for after all the game I gave away.
Safe to say I paved the way, for you cats to get paid today.
You still be wasting days away, nah had I never saved the day.
Consider them my protégé, how much I think they should pay.
Instead of being gracious, they violated and made you wait.
I never been a hater still I love them, yeah I graze the way.
Some say they so yay and no they couldn’t even work on Labor day.
It aint that they black or white, their hands of area in shades of grey.
I’m West side anyway, even if I left the day it fades away.
Some move away to make a way not move away cause they afraid.
I’ll go back to the hood and all you ever did was hate away.
I pray for patience but they make me want to face away.
Like I once made them scream, now I could make them plead their case away.
Been thuggin’ all my life, can’t say I don’t deserve to take a break.
If you ever see me catch a case, and watch my future fade away.

much appreciated

2008-10-21T16:17:00.003-06:00

thank you for making my fucking life
so much fucking worse.

your so selfish i cant even stand it
they keep telling me there is always people like you,
but i find it hard to believe that everyone else hasn't commited suicide

i have enough stress
i dont need you
fucking up my home life too

for fuck sakes just once in your
selfish little life
be considerate

fuck.

wild raquel bees; calgary; **night

2008-10-18T22:15:00.004-06:00

Rushing and racing and running in circles

Moving so fast,

I'm forgetting my purpose

Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning

Getting nowhere

My head and my heart are colliding,

chaotic

Pace of the world

I just wish I could stop it

Try to appear like

I've got it together

falling apart

Save me

Somebody take my hand,

and lead me

Slow me down

Don't let love pass me by

Just show me how'

Cause I'm ready to fall

Slow me down

Don't let me live a lie

Before my life flys by

I need you to slow me down

Sometimes I fear that I might dissapear

In the blur of fast forward I faulter again

Forgetting to breathe,

I need to sleep getting nowhere

All that I've missed I see in the reflection

Passed me while I wasn't paying attention

Tired of rushing, racing and running

falling apart

Tell me

Oh won't you take my hand and lead me

Slow me down

Don't let love pass me by Just show me how'

Cause I'm ready to fall

Slow me down

Don't let me live a lie

Before my life flys by

I need you to slow me down

Just show me slow me down, slow me down

The noise of the world is getting me caught up

Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it

Just need to breathe, somebody please

Slow me down

8:11/08

2008-09-30T22:42:00.003-06:00

and thats why it didnt work out

...poor you

VOW

2008-09-30T22:36:00.002-06:00

i have made a vow,
this vow i will try my all to keep.
i vow that no matter how big
my feelings are or get towards
human species of the opposite sex
i am not going to waste my precious
time on them.

i need to focus on school and getting better
at the tender (lol) age of sixteen
i have now concluded that i do not need a boyfriend
or even male interest

her name

2008-09-22T21:10:00.002-06:00

soceity knows her as hope;
to her father she is fragile
and precious.
to her mother she is curious
and full of life.

to herself she is unknown.
she does not know what she is good at
she does not know how to spell
she does not know nothing of herself

but what she does know
is that she is who she is
and no one can say it is
right or wrong

no one can say whether it
is good or bad.

i wish i could be like hope,
child like in a way that i could do no wrong.
do nothing other then learn

wrong is not a word to her yet
i wish for this...
no words, no rights or wrongs
just experiences,
experiences

and hope

SOUP

2008-08-29T13:41:00.004-06:00

i can only offer
my painted smile,

sometimes the pain

is just too much to bear.

no one knows the secrets

behind these empty eyes.

to be eternally happy,

is a treasure this world has never

and will never know.

i almost wonder if dear andy

was saying 'fuck critics, fuck the world'

and decided to see how far he could get

off a campbells soup can.

thats what i believe after all

his superstar died

in her prime.

how can i make it clear;

2008-08-11T14:01:00.005-06:00

THIS IS WHAT I WANT

... do i have to spell it out for you too

...--...

2008-08-11T09:26:00.002-06:00

to you time is just a hand

rotating;

to me its moments passing us by.

colours make life interesting,

but for me its expression and

individuality.

running keeps you fit,

it keeps me grateful

and sane.

wetness from above

2008-06-03T18:31:00.003-06:00

we cry;
tears of joy
tears of sadness
tears of anger.
they fall from our eyes
and the skies

tears are ability
tears are nature
tears are what we are made of
we are them
they make us

cranium crash

2008-05-26T19:42:00.002-06:00

ouch,
it's bruised,
swollen,
and aching.
no remedy but time.
time I dont wanna waste sitting
in the battle of tears.

family pushes for time,
coaches push for play.

heart pushes for neither.

in here, out there

2008-05-25T22:37:00.004-06:00

trapt;

means city.

free is McCandless.

Krakauer is my escape.

here i am,
there you are.

come find me,

come save me.

pretty picture;

ఫిరెఫ్లిఎసి

future

freud

well...

well...

monday monday

happy new years

just leave

sigh

vavavoom

boiz will be boiz will be boiz will be boiz will be boiz

ho hum

in a nut shell...a peanut shell

UH!!!!

unveiling**

much appreciated

wild raquel bees; calgary; **night

8:11/08

VOW

her name

SOUP

how can i make it clear;

.*.*.*--*.*.*.

wetness from above

cranium crash

in here, out there

...--...